I met the friendliest cop last night
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
