But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
