I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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