If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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