Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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