new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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