wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
No subtext here. People are naked.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
