I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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