Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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