I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
