ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
