woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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