I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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