I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
