ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
