Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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