oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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