I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
