Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
