Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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