I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
