so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We left an ass print on the piano.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
