yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
