I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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