We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize