I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I didn't notice because vodka
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
