Nicole vs. Life
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
