i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
