normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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