i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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