He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
