420 ftw
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
