Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
