Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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