You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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