carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
