He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
