no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
