So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize