you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
