I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
