"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
