so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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