Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The struggles of a small town man whore
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
