i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am one with the molecules
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
