he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
