so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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