Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
