if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
