Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
