Your face is a jimmy john
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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