is wine microwaveable?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
