Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize