I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I have fence marks all over my body
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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