i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
