I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
