i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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