Small penises have feelings too.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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