Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
