Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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