i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
