I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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