Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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