So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
