Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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